A. Nathaniel

Yeah, I often quarreled and babble so much about “don’t wanna go to college” with my mom while I still at high school. I hate school so much so I thought going to college gonna waste my life like I was at school. Even though I hate school, it doesn’t mean I do it half-heartedly. I strived for good grades, but still hate the system. Yeah, the “system” / the “curriculum” is just what I hate. Not the school, but the “system”. (*fyi, I’m from Indonesia)

college is different (luckily it is). In my 12 years of school life, I was forced into learning almost 70% of something I hate, having so much tests for each subject, and the lists goes on. It’s like, after 12 years of eating those subjects, I already forget it all and my life still goes on. Applying for College at 12th Grade made me thought more about what I truly wanna achieve and what I truly wanna learn. It’s a really long process (I’m not kidding, this is the part where I quarrel with my parents again, but…that’s normal, right? I think some of you will pass this phase too). In short, I decided to take Informatics (Computer Science / Information Engineering / etc whatever it is). At first, I chose this major because I thought I’m quite familiar with computers and softwares since my toddler age and why not just deepen my bond with those stuffs. After graduated high school and start my college life about several months…

Everything I know is just 0.000001% of what I should known about software engineering. I thought I can run away so far from high-level mathematics, but I just make myself drown into it more. Coding, which is a “cool” stuffs for me when I was still a kid until high school, becomes a “nightmare” for me as an Informatics student. I’m not talking about what I face as an Informatics student, because I know some of you who read this will go to College for another majors. The point is, my expectations and my hopes are crumbled down.

In the time I wrote this story, I already at my 5th Semester (3rd year) of my journey as a college student.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

I faced several semesters of regretting my decisions to take Informatics major because the subjects in it were so random and alien-like for my head. I don’t even know what am I learning and what am I doing in those classes. But luckily I can pass every test by the help of that “overnight system” (for you who are Indonesians, you know what this means). Even some of my friends often teased me “You are Graphic Design student, right?”, “Why do you take Informatics?”, “Why don’t you take Film major? You love to take shots, right?”, etc and the list goes on (because I sometimes do some graphic design and photo-videography stuffs).

I was enjoying my summer holiday and suddenly I realize I’ve been through those two years with so many doubts and regrets, but I still survive while some of my friends change major or even drop-out. I decided to finish my journey by reducing my thoughts of regrets, then think and act differently in my studying process. I started to find some “fun” part in some of the subjects, curios to find out more by myself. Being a college student give so many eye-opener actually. You meet more diverse people than in high school and more activities provided to make sure you will be ready for the “real-world”.

There’re no straight roads for the journey of college, from the apply process until you graduate. There will be some quarrel with yourself, with your parents, or even with your “soulmate” (if you have one? 😂). Except, you already know very well what you wanna choose and the consequences. Sometimes, if you are like me, you will face some regrets phase, maybe asking yourself “am I in the right place? Is this really the right choice?”, or “wait, this is not my place, I wanna move to . . .”, or even “well, college is wasting my time, let’s end this now and start that business I wanna do since a long time ago” and then there will be a phase where you already enjoy yourself in your place. Everyone will have their own story, there will be so much ups and downs. As long as you stay calm and try to enjoy it, you can do it. Just remember…talk or consult about your studying problems with someone you feel like can help you find the answers or feel better (your parents, teachers, friends, or the psychologist at counseling department).

Thank you for reading this story. I hope it can give you some new perspectives…I also write this story to train my English skills, so I’m really sorry if there’re so many mistakes with my vocabularies or grammars, really appreciate it if you are kind to tell me through response button / comment below.